I'll Be Waiting
by IAmTheUltimateGleek
Summary: This couldn't be happening...She can't be gone. Trigger Warning/Major Character Death


Trigger warnings for attempted suicide. Also main Character death.

She was clutching onto the phone like it is her only life line.

This was just a bad dream. This was not happening...it couldn't be...

She had just texted her not 2 hours ago...saying she would be running late, but she promised she would be here soon...she promised she would be here tonight...

Everything is happening to fast and Rachel finally lets go of the phone and drops slowly to the floor.

Quinn was dead. Just saying the words made Rachel release a completely broken scream as she rocked back and forth on the cold wood floor.

She...she had been mugged while walking home from Optional (Mandatory) Late Night Cheerios Practice. They-They had shot Quinn and left her body on the road...they killed...

Rachel is now sobbing. Hard. She doesn't even register Tina, Mercedes, Sugar, and Kurt running into the kitchen asking what had happened and if she is hurt.

She doesn't even notice Tina pulling up the discarded phone and talking to the paramedic on the other line...

She doesn't even notice her own shaking as she mumbles Quinn's name under her breath repetitively...

All she can do is cry...

...

It had been their annual glee girl sleepover night and they had all been waiting for Quinn, Brittany, and Santana to get back from practice...

Brittany and Santana had gone home early to get ready for the slumber party and Quinn had told them she would catch up later.

She had been mugged two blocks down and was left to die. After about half an hour with no word from her Santana had driven back to the school and saw Quinn by some bushes close to one of the cross walks down the road. She had called 911 and held Quinn's hand until she died right there on the side of the road...she had lost too much blood.

Rachel can't breathe as Tina starts to sob and explain to the others what has happened. Suddenly the room is spinning and Rachel blacks out.

...

The next day Rachel wakes up in her bed..and she cries again.

She prays that Quinn will be right beside her when she rolls over on her side. That those warm hazel eyes will be there. That her smokey morning voice will ask Rachel why she is crying and if she is hurt. That she will pull Rachel in her warm arms and kiss away her nightmares...but when she turns no one is there...there is nothing, but a cold and dark room looking back at her as her chocked whimper echo through the nothingness...and somehow its how her heart feels right now too...

...

The rest of the school finds out on Monday. An assembly is held and the school shows many photos of Quinn in cheerios and glee action shots...but none of them get the real Quinn...They don't show the pictures of Quinn with her reading glasses on as she studies late at night...or the genuine smile Quinn would only give her family and friends...the only true one they do show is a still shot that the glee clubbers had gotten one night when Rachel had fallen asleep in Quinn's arms. Quinn was looking down at Rachel with so much love in her eyes as she lightly kissed the top of Rachel's head with a small smile. In that one photo everybody in the school saw the real Quinn Fabray...

Mr. Shue and Sue had to leave the auditorium in tears though when some of the glee kids began singing softly to the montage of photos being shown...you didn't even have to know Quinn Fabray to see she was loved.

But someone didn't show up that day for the song...or the next day for school...or any of the days after that...

...

Rachel simply sat in her room staring at a photo of her and Quinn, from the the time they went to the carnival, that laid next to her bedside table. No matter how hard she tried she just kept staring at that same photo and replayed the police report over and over again in her mind.

They had killed Quinn for her phone and earrings. She was killed because a group of neanderthals wanted something they couldn't have. The thought alone made her so sick...and it only made everything so much worse...but there was nothing she could do anymore...so she would do nothing...

Funeral Day

Everyone was a mess. In fact most of Lima was a mess. The Fabray's were one of the most powerful families in all of Ohio, but they were also one of the most loved.

It had only been 4 days since it happened, and everyone was heartbroken over their lost friend, classmate, family member, neighbor, and idol. Most of the town was attending the service and giving their regards to the Fabray family, but no one was worse then Rachel.

The minute each member of the Fabray family saw the poor girl everyone's hearts broke all the more. She was wearing a mid length black gown and her hair was pulled back in a tight and painful looking bun. She had no makeup on and the bags underneath her eyes could been seen from a mile away. She just looked like a destroyed little girl...

They had heard from the glee kids that over everyone the poor girl was so far gone that they were all becoming worried. She refused to leave her house, wasn't speaking, and only got up to bathe because her father would carry her into the bathroom. But the scariest part is that Rachel was showing no emotion anymore. The day after Rachel blacked out she kind of just...shut down...she didn't cry or scream or anything she just did...nothing.

She wasn't even crying now. She just had vacant eyes with a sad look on her face that had been there since the day of Quinn's death.

"Oh Rachel" Judy Fabray didn't wait a moment before grabbing Rachel into a huge bear hug and sobbing into the small girl's shoulder.

"Y-You know Q-Quinnie loved y-you more t-h-than life. Oh honey she would have given y-you the world an-and we will always be here for you R-rae" Rachel couldn't even give the poor grieving woman a comforting smile. She simply hugged the distraught woman quickly and moved onto the next Fabray in line. Quinn's older sister Charlie.

"Hey there baby girl" After Quinn had come out to her family and introduced them to Rachel it had become an ongoing joke for the family to call Rach 'baby girl'. It was only fair considering how often they heard the couple be completely mushy and use pet names for each other.

But even that couldn't make Rachel crack a smile.

"Quinn loved you Rach...She...she really wanted tot spend the rest of her life with you..an-and...that means you will always be a Fabray baby girl. If you ever need anything we are right here for you..." Charlie pulls her little sister's girlfriend into a bone crushing hug before pulling back and weeping at the unchanged look on Rachel's face...she looked so lost...and it crushed her all the more...

Rae moves on to the next and possibly her favorite Fabray, Russell.

"Hey small fry" Russell takes one look at Rachel and his usually guarded and strong eyes fill with tears. He brings Rachel into a soft hug and let's a small tear escape his eye.

Russell had probably been Quinn and Rachel's most supportive family member since the day the two became a couple. The minute he met Rachel he instantly loved her like the third daughter he never had. She was polite, beautiful, kindhearted, and made Quinn so happy. And that was all that mattered.

Soon he was the ultimate go to person for the girls. He threatened to sue anyone who made one homophobic comment towards the two and had even gotten his company to donate to the LGBT community multiple times. Russell did everything he could to make his girls happy... But right now the usually proud father was looking as broken as Rachel did.

They both had the same heartbreaking look in their eyes that made everyone even more upset...it was as if you were staring into a cracked mirror. You couldn't even tell who was looking back anymore...

"You know we will always be your other family right Rachel? Quinn loved you so so much and she never would have wanted you to suffer like this. She loved you so much Rae and...and...she was so happy with you... Come on now Rae please we need to know you are ok...please" If you knew Russell you knew he never begged...ever...But his pleas for some form of emotion from the girl fell on deaf ears as Rachel looked into the all to familiar hazel eyes and turned away.

Rachel didn't want to sob, or morn, or give her blessings to anyone...she just wanted her lover back...

No one could have stopped her if they wanted two as Rachel gave the Fabray's a final goodbye hug at the burial and left the grave yard before they could even lower the casket.

...

One week later

The days after the funeral were possibly the worst for everybody who knew Rachel. Because the girl who was there wasn't Rachel anymore...

For each day since the funeral the entire glee club had been trying to get Rachel to open up or do anything...but she refused to even acknowledge their presence...

Finn and puck had tried singing to her.

Kurt, Tina, Mercedes, and Sugar offered to take her out for the day.

Santana had even broken down and begged the girl to just saw one word...for anything, but of course got nothing in response. She even tried yelling at the girl while shaking her...she screamed until her voice became horse and Brittany had to drag her out of the room in tears...

Blaine had even managed to get the Warblers to serenade Rachel from outside her house...But still they got nothing.

Her fathers were becoming desperate and were looking for anything or anyone to help their little girl. She hadn't even looked at them since the incident and refused to go see a therapist. She would only bathe when one of them would take her to the bathroom and not let her leave until she showered...and.. she was also losing weight...so much weight.

They had finally run out of options...they couldn't force her to do anything anymore and they had done everything in their power. So the Berry men had arranged for Rachel to be alone for the next day and test their final theory.

If know one bothers her will she finally see that she need help?

They warned the entire Glee club members that for tomorrow no one was to bother Rachel or contact her in anyway.

Although Puck and Santana had almost started a fight with the two men about the new plan they eventually were forced to give up..there was no other choice here...She had to fight this battle for herself.

...

The Next Day

**Rachel's Point of View**

Why?

Why not me or anybody else?

Why Quinn?

I cracked one eye open as I slowly looked around my room and sighed at the sunlight I saw coming in from my window...another night...no sleep... and no Quinn.

I close my eyes once and blinked away my dried tears from earlier...i looked at the photo on my dresser and sighed...

I pulled my comforters off sluggishly and rubbed my eyes to get rid of the dizziness that was clouding my vision yet again... It was getting harder to get up everyday...not that there was even a point...

I think for a moment before closing my eyes again...no one came to drag me to the shower this morning...good...

I laid in bed for a good two hours before the urge to go was just to much I slowly got out of bed and drag my feet to the bathroom

After I use the bathroom I look down at the running water as I wash my hands slowly.

Maybe they were finally taking a hint. I wanted to be alone.

"No you don't"

I whip my head up to the mirror faster then I intended to because soon I'm grasping the sink for balance as I try to shake the fog that had clouded my sight. I looked into my reflection once before a bright spark makes me blink twice... My eyes were playing tricks on me. There wasn't any blonde hair in the mirror or a light flashing. I'm simply tired. Yes just tired...

Or maybe thirsty...

I carefully walk down the steps to the kitchen and pull out a bottle of water. I look around my kitchen and notice my fathers are no where to be seen. I lift an eyebrow before i finally turn towards the separate stool on the island and see a note on the counter. They would be gone till tomorrow. I guess I finally depressed them away because now I have the day to myself...yay...

"They are worried about you you know? Everyone is..." I quickly spit my water everywhere and look up thinking that there may be an intruder as I whip my head to the side...it can't be...but that voice it couldn't-

Quinn. My Quinn. My love is sitting right at the counter across from me with a small frown placed on her face. She has a bright white sundress that reaches her knees. There are matching white slippers on her feet that I notice as she uncrosses her legs and steps up from her stool...Her beautiful hair is cascading down into loose curls and I can't help, but notice how perfect she is... She looks so...angelic...

I must have been in shock though because all i could do was open and close my mouth and try to get words to form because...Quinn was in front of me... my dead Quinn is sitting right in front of me...and she looked...sad

"I'm worried too Baby this isn't like you..." she slowly starts to move towards me and my brain freezes...

Baby...only my Quinn would ever call me baby

I blink once. She is still there

I blink twice. She is still looking right at me.

Those gorgeous hazel eyes that I have been begging to see one last time for one final chance to get lost in the swirls of love I always find, are looking right through my own watered ones and into my soul.

"Quinn?" I almost wince at how lost my voice is.

"You stopped eating too...Why Baby?...You look so tired."

For the first time in a week I am smiling. A true loving smile and I'm crying happy tears...I didn't even notice the worry in her tone because all I could see was-

"QUINN!" I cross the counter as quickly as I can and pull her into a tight hug. She feels so real and so...warm... Maybe I finally lost it and this is how being crazy feels like. I can feel her perfect skin underneath my finger tips as I hold onto her...and I can hear her heart beating in her chest where my head lays as I cry...maybe i really am insane

"Oh baby girl please calm down! I'm here I'm here shhhhh" She holds me as I continue to laugh into her chest. Soon she is running her fingers through my hair and whispering in my ear for me to calm down...but all to soon she is pulling me back to look at me again..she gives me one of her perfect smiles and I lose it again. She pulls me back into a hug and coos me as I whisper into her ear.

"T-tell me I'm not crazy baby. Please t-tell me you are here right now. O-Oh my g-god Quinn quinn..."

My pleas make her hold me tighter as I breath in everything that is my lost Quinn. Please let this be real...

"Please please baby you-ou can't leave me again! I-I might die if I have to lose you again please you h-have to stay." I'm looking at her so brokenly I instantly see her smile drop as she pulls back and looks at me sadly and cradles my face while brushing the tears away from my face. Slowly she pulls us to the ground and lifts me up and into her arms. She shushes me while cradling me like she always use to days ago...

"No you won't. shhhhh... Remember baby girl? You're gonna go on Broadway and be a big star! And I'll be cheering you on and watching you from the best seat in Heaven. Then I get to brag to God about how amazing and talented my love is and tell him how perfect you are...Come on now baby. Don't cry. Please don't cry beautiful." she is kissing away the tears that roll down my cheeks as I sob harder. This means she was leaving...again...

She continues to tell me all about the great future I'm going to have, but I'm not even listening anymore...im simply sitting there silently...she looks down at me and asks if I'm ok. I give her a disbelieving look before trying to formulate my next sentence.

"I c-can't loose you again Lucy Quinn Fabray. I c-can't live without you, An-and I can't ever lo-ove..." Suddenly I get an idea. It's probably the worst and greatest idea I've ever had. It will hurt everyone so much...my fathers...glee club...but if it's my only way of being with Quinn I'm more than willing to go through with it.

I immediately stand up and start pulling away from Quinnas I start walking out of the kitchen. Soon I'm running up the stairs to the second floor as fast as I can go, but I hear Quinn following right behind me.

"Rachel? What are you doing? Baby? What's wrong?"

I run into my father's bathroom and lock the door behind me as I hear Quinn try the nob. while knocking rapidly at the door.

"Rach?! RACHEL?" I'm hurrying as quickly as I can manage and open the first medicine cabinet. I don't even notice that the knocking has stopped and Quinn isn't calling for me anymore... I see what I'm looking for and grab the bottle of pills hastily...

Before I can even unfasten the top though I'm being tackled to the ground. I look up and see Quinn with the most furious look I have ever seen on her face looking down at me. She pinned my hands by my head and is straddling my hips while her hair makes a curtain around my face that blocks out the rest of the world. I don't even have enough energy to try and think of how she got through the locked door before I'm crying again

However before I can even try and move she is talking to me with the scariest voice I have ever heard from her while looking right into my eyes.

"You listen to me right now Rachel Barbra Berry! You will never and I mean NEVER go near a bottle of pills like that again! Do you hear me! I will personally come back from my grave again and drag your ass back into your body and then kill you myself for even attempting anything that stupid ever again!"She finishes her rant harshly and I flinch at her tone before her eyes immediately soften at me and get teary yet again.

"You have so much to live for Rae. I see what you have in your future and Rachel you will be happy...maybe not now but you will be again please I'm begging you baby girl. It will get better i promise you please." There are tears in her eyes as she cries softly over me.I suddenly soften to her as I watch her tears go down her face...she is far to beautiful to ever cry like that.

All I want to do is hold her and swear I will never again, but then I start to get upset myself...

My anger continues to grow though as I try to control my outburst, but it doesn't stop my own emotions from exploding right into my own rant that I've been holding in for the past week. Suddenly I'm shouting right back at Quinn with the same seriousness she held moments ago

"What about us Quinn?! You think you are so easy to let go of? That i can take some time off and jump right back into dating when the only person I will ever love in the world has been taken from me?! You think I want to graduate this year without you?! I don't want to move on and get a new life! I don't give a damn about Broadway if I can't share it with you! I want...no...I need to marry you. I need to have children and grandchildren with you..an-and I need you right next to me until we are both gray haired old ladies fighting in our retirement home with Santana and Brittany and everybody else!...I...I...I want to be with you please Quinn..Let me come with you...Please..." I didn't even notice that my voice had trailed off and that I was crying again.

Quinn was quiet for a long time after that and simply started down at me as I wept my heart out. Then suddenly loosened her hold on my wrist and she sits up while bringing me up. I continue to let every sob rack my body while I hold onto her neck... She slowly wraps her arms around me and rocks us back and fourth while whispered in my ear softly.

"I want that too baby... I would give anything for that...but sometimes bad things happen. I can't change anything that happened, but you can keep living for both of us Baby. You can go be on Broadway and have your own grand babies with someone else who loves you...and... And you can go win your best actress and best parent awards you always wanted to have... Then you can retire with the glee kids and use your cane to fight over the vintage karaoke set with Kurt and Mercedes" I had to smile at that. Only Quinn could make me smile at a time like this...

"But I need you to try Rae. I need you to try for both of us. I promise the minute you leave earth when your an beautifully wrinkled old woman I'll be there waiting for you at the gate...I promise. I'll be waiting right there for you Baby girl and I won't ever leave your side...But please" She chocked on her next words. "You have to try for both of us Rach"

I take in everything she says and I think about everything we have been through...I go through all our fights and out kisses...every break up and make up we had...and I just can't imagine going on though without her...but then I think of her waiting for me and being with her again...being in Heaven with her by my said...I can see us again...we are so happy and we are finally together...but only when the time is right...

I only nod my head once as I pull Quinn into what feels like our final goodbye for now...and I cry

Nobody could have counted how many hours I sat in the bathroom hugging Quinn's ghost or spirit or figment of my imagination. But eventually I fell asleep with her warm arms wrapped around me...protecting me from the cruelness that would be my reality when I woke up...

The next day I was alone and Quinn was gone

Epilogue

It took two days for Rachel to speak again and ask her father's if she could get help.

It took 2 months of intense therapy for Rachel to come to terms with Quinn's death.

It took another month before she finally started her healing process with her fathers.

It took another 3 months of glee family making many dedicated and heartfelt songs to get Rachel to smile again.

It took the first year anniversary of Quinn's death for Rachel to finally reunite with Fabray family and give everybody the closure they all needed by crying all day while each told old stories of their times with Quinn.

...

7 years later Rachel walked down the isle with her wife Jules. Santana was her maid of honor and all the glee girls were her brides maids.

1 year later Rachel adopts their first baby girl. She has bright green eyes like Jules and a little patch of bright blonde hair on the top of her head...they name her Lucy Judith Berry

4 more years later Rachel gives birth to twin boys with matching dark brown hair like Rachel's and crystal hazel eyes that remind Rachel so much of Quinn's...they are named Russell Quinnton Berry and Noah Anderson Berry.

Then 5 years later Jules has their final child who has the same bright blonde hair as her older sister and the same beautiful brown eyes as her Ma...their last child is named Charlotte Santana Berry.

Soon Rachel's family is complete and she can becomes the one dream she has always had since the day she met Quinn...the best possible mom to her kids...

In the next 55 years of Rachel's life she had become a Broadway Legend. She was cast for lead role after lead role and wound up with a record of Tonies and other high listed awards. She eventually has to retire from the stage and becomes a stay at home grandma as she watches her grandchildren alongside her wife. And Rachel is there as the loving family she had created grows up.

Jules knew about Quinn. She has known from the beginning that Rachel will always love her and her children more than anything...but at the same time she knows she will always be a shadow compared to the great Quinn Fabray who stole her wife's heart from the beginning. She may never be like Quinn was, but that doesn't stop her from loving Rachel with all her heart.

And there wasn't one thing in the world that could have stopped Rachel's entire family from being at Rachel's side till she is in her 80's and dying slowly in her bed. The entire family knew the story of Quinn Fabray and they all knew Jules would never be their mom's true love, but that didn't make them love Rachel any less either...

Now though...it was time for Rachel to finally make peace.

All her kids and grand children and her one great grand child had finally said their tear filled goodbyes to their beloved mom and Nana as they sat back and let nature take her away... But the most heart breaking farewell was Jules'.

"You make sure to give Quinn a big hug from me when you see her up there you hear? She gave me the most wonderful wife in the world...and...i got to spend the best years of my life with both of you watching out for all of us." Jules is in tears now as she watches her love fade away with every breath... but she still smiles when she sees her love tenderly kiss her hand and whisper a final I love you before the beeping of the monitors beside the bed stop forever...no one moves...and it's quiet

...

The next time Rachel's eyes open a warm light is bringing carrying her towards a soft white and blue gate leading into what she can only assume is Heaven. Rachel notices that her lungs don't hurt anymore and the usually short gray hair she had taken such good care of was now at her shoulders flowing into her sight in long brown waves...she can see again without having to squint...her hip no longer cries out for relies...and...she feels alive...

The light has finally stopped and right as Rachel reaches a now tan and youthful hand for the gate's entrance a differnt paler, but equally as soft hand is laid on top of hers...Rachel hold her breathe as she looks up...the hazel eyes she hasn't seen in decades are staring right back into her soul. Soon she hears the words she has waited a life time to hear...

"I've been waiting for you Baby Girl"


End file.
